1. Medical Student Turn around and they're following you. In fact, just think of an IVC that needs doing and they magically appear. However, the prevalence of medical students follows a bi-modal distribution over the course of the year, related to the proximity to exam-time. 2. Junior Doctor Page multiple times (don't bother to stay at the phone number you page to), call, or shout loudly. If all fails, threaten to call a MET call. 3. Registrar Page first (do not call). If paging a medical registrar the case must sound unsolveable. If paging a surgical registrar there must be an opportunity to go to theatre. 4. Consultant Call their secretary. If you are a private patient, you can try mentioning that you feel better and might be able to go home. 5. Professor E-mail only. 6. Antimicrobial Stewardship Team You don't contact them. They contact you... 7. Medical Registrar Suggest that your patient might be a good one to present at professorial rounds. 8. Nurse Mention pressure ulcer and their patient's name. 9. Nurse Unit Manager Mention falls and their ward. 10. Anyone at lunch time If not on the ward, the first place to look:
11. IT 12. Clinical immunology
Why is no one ever sure that they even exist whenever someone tries to make a referral?
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